


Lack of Inhibition

by arielmagicesi



Series: Pynch week prompts 2016 [2]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alcohol, Fluff, M/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, baby chickens, sex mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-08 20:43:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7772728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arielmagicesi/pseuds/arielmagicesi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan dreams up an alcohol that creates the positive effects of alcohol without the negatives. Adam is willing to try it.<br/> I'm hoping I did a decent enough job of addressing both Ronan and Adam's previous issues with alcohol in this, but let me know if I didn't.<br/>Pynch week day two, prompt: the morning after</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lack of Inhibition

**Author's Note:**

> I've never drunk any alcohol before, so chalk up any inaccuracies to the fact that it's a magical dream alcohol.  
> Also again... I tried to properly address issues re: Ronan's previous alcoholism, Adam's abuse, and anything with issues of consent, but if something bothers you, please let me know.  
> additionally, I've never met a baby chicken in my life, so their brief appearance in the story may also be inaccurate.

Adam had been complaining for the past week about how stressed he was. Ronan didn’t mind too much; frankly, he thought Adam was the only student at Aglionby who had a right to complain about how stressed he was.

Right now, Adam was sitting cross-legged on the couch at Monmouth, a textbook open in his lap, and a pile of flashcards spread out on the cushion next to him. Ronan was sprawled out on the floor, reading some article on his laptop about the pros and cons of organic farming.

The door opened. Gansey and Opal walked in- they’d gone out to procure some pizza. Opal had insisted on coming along because she was bored and she loved riding in the Pig.

“Last midterm tomorrow,” Gansey said, setting the pizza down on the table in front of them. Adam made a noise to indicate that he’d heard Gansey, but didn’t look up from his textbook. Ronan shut his laptop and grabbed a slice of pizza. So did Gansey and Opal. Adam continued not to look up from his textbook.

“Parrish.” Ronan poked Adam’s leg. “Parrish. Parrish. Take a two second break to eat something.”

“One more paragraph,” Adam muttered, and Ronan rolled his eyes.

A few seconds later, Adam finished his paragraph and grabbed a slice of pizza.

“Jeez,” Gansey said. “You really are stressed. You’ve already been accepted to your dream school, Parrish, rest a little.”

Ronan gave Adam a look that meant _don’t start shit with Gansey now_ , because he knew that Adam was thinking that Gansey couldn’t possibly understand why Adam felt the need to strive for perfection in everything he did.

Adam shrugged, conciliatory, and said, “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to de-stress a little. Starting tomorrow after midterms are over.”

Gansey laughed. “Suit yourself. I’ve been studying all afternoon, I think I’m going to rest for a bit.”

“Play scavenger hunt with me!” Opal insisted, looking up at Gansey fondly.

Ronan smiled. Opal had made up a series of different games to play at Monmouth, and her favorite was making Gansey pick out different obscure items for her to hunt down.

“All right,” Gansey said, and started looking around the room for something to make Opal search for.

Ronan, meanwhile, was thinking about what Adam had said about de-stressing.

“Hey, Adam,” he said, glancing over to where Adam was trying not to spill any pizza sauce onto his still-open textbook.

“What?” Adam asked.

“What if I dream up something to help you, you know, relax tomorrow?”

“What do you mean?” Adam asked, looking up with an eyebrow raised.

“Dunno,” Ronan said. “Like a calming thing. Like something you can take to calm you down so you can rest.”

Now Adam’s eyebrows were raised even higher.

“You mean, a drug?” Adam said. “Like Xanax or some shit?”

“Not like Xanax, God, Parrish,” Ronan said. “Like a drink. Just to calm your nerves.”

Adam tensed a little, and Ronan regretted bringing it up.

“You don’t have to,” he said instantly. “I know you don’t drink-”

“I didn’t… say no,” Adam said tentatively.

Gansey looked over suspiciously from the bookcase, where he’d taken Opal for the scavenger hunt game.

Ronan ignored him and lowered his voice.

“I mean,” he said, “if I dreamt up some alcohol or whatever… it wouldn’t be, like, bad shit. Like it would be magic alcohol, I don’t know. It wouldn’t make you lose control, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Then what would it do?” Adam asked. “I thought the point of alcohol was to lower your inhibitions.”

Only Adam could put it that scientifically and still sound attractive to Ronan.

“No, dumbass,” he said. “It’ll just, like, relax your muscles and get rid of your headache and shit. And make you feel lighter and a little more cheerful. You know. All the good parts without the shitty parts.”

Adam considered it.

“All right,” he said. “I’ll try it. If you dream it, I trust it. It’ll be fun to do something dumb after midterms.”

 

Ronan had thought about dreaming up magic alcohol that didn’t give you hangovers for a while, but he’d never done it because he didn’t want to become dependent on it. Now, though, months after everything had ended, in the lovely calm of early February, with Adam and Opal and new friends and old friends and his relationship with his brothers repaired… He felt a little safer with the idea that he wouldn’t go back to his old habits.

The drink turned out to come in a bottle that looked like a champagne bottle. It was light pink and bubbly. It looked like a dream. He stowed it in one of the cabinets in the kitchen, in case Adam changed his mind and didn’t even want to see it.

He dropped Opal off at Fox Way, along with some herbal tea he’d put together half from dreams and half from the garden he’d started. He was beginning to feel bad always letting them babysit her without giving them anything in return.

After, he picked up Adam from work and drove him up to the Barns. Adam told him a bit about how the last midterm had gone- in a level of detail Ronan didn’t really give a shit about, but he gleaned pretty quickly that Adam had obviously done rather well- and then nearly fell asleep against the window.

A light rain was beginning.

When they got to the Barns, the rain was a little heavier, and it made Adam’s skin shine and his hair stick up a little. Ronan hid a smile.

“So,” Adam said, as soon as they were in the kitchen and Adam’s backpack was dropped onto one of the empty chairs. “Where’s this dream alcohol you were talking about?”

“Oh, you’re pretty eager,” Ronan said.

“I’m curious,” Adam said.

Ronan looked at him, from where he was standing by the fridge to get out the stuff he’d made for dinner. Adam was curled up on one of the kitchen chairs, rain still glistening on him, a lazy, tired smile, and he looked perfect. Imperfect. Whatever. All Ronan knew was that he didn’t want to force him to do anything he didn’t want to do.

“You know,” Ronan said, “you don’t have to drink this shit just ‘cause I dreamt it.”

Adam leaned forward.

“Are you worried I’ll hate it or something, Lynch? Don’t back out now. I agreed to this.”

Ronan stuck the bowl of mashed potatoes in the microwave to reheat. He stared down at the countertop.

“I just know,” Ronan said, “that you don’t drink… Like, there’s a reason you don’t drink.”

Adam didn’t say anything in response to that. Ronan heard him let out a breath.

“Is that it?” Adam asked. “You think it might do something to me? It might bring out something bad in me?”

“What? No, God no.” Ronan turned around. “Fuck no. There’s nothing bad in you to bring out. You have nothing bad in you. Jesus, Parrish-”

Adam tilted his head. He didn’t look upset, thank God.

“Well, then, what the hell are you worried about?” he asked, voice soft. “That I’m scared? I’m not scared. I don’t drink because I don’t want to. But anything that came out of your head, it’s not something I don’t want.”

Ronan turned red. He wasn’t as good with emotional confessions as Adam was.

“OK, well, get fucking ready, then,” he said.

He set out plates for them and dished out the different comfort foods he’d made. Then, a little awkwardly, he poured out two glasses of the strange magic drink.

It fizzled and foamed a little. Adam watched it with an analytical eye.

“Is it based on any real drink?” he asked.

Ronan shrugged. “No idea. This is the first time I dreamt it up.”

Adam looked up. “Sure it won’t poison me?”

“Do you think I’d give it to you if I wasn’t sure?”

“Good point.” Adam raised his glass. “Cheers, I guess.”

He sipped a little.

“Mmm. Tastes better than I expected. I mean, not great, but better than I expected.”

“Thanks, Parrish,” Ronan said.

They ate for a bit and talked for a bit, drinking a little in between. Adam wanted to know how the chickens were doing. Ronan didn’t want to know how Aglionby was doing, but he wanted to know how Adam was surviving there.

“Barely,” Adam said, in response. “I can’t wait ‘til I get out of there.”

“Me, neither,” Ronan said.

“Why?” Adam asked. He was talking slightly louder now, but only slightly. “Once I leave Aglionby, I’m going to college.”

“I know,” Ronan said. “I mean I can’t wait until you get to go somewhere where you’re happy.”

Adam smiled, taking Ronan’s hand from across the table.

“I’m happy here, you know,” he said. “I mean… with you.”

“Sentimental fucker,” Ronan said. “I wouldn’t have gotten you drunk if I’d known you would start saying this shit.”

“Fuck you,” Adam said, without any harshness, and then said, “I really do want to know how the chickens are doing. Can we go see them?”

“Sure,” Ronan said.

He and Adam walked, holding hands, out into the rain. Adam laughed at the feeling of the downpour over him.

“Shit, it’s really coming down,” he said, shielding his face.

“Guess we’d better run,” Ronan said. “Come on.”

He took Adam’s hand tighter in his, warm skin against warm skin, and began running to the nearest barn, where the chicken coop was. Adam followed after him, light as water and warm as the sun.

They were both dripping wet when they got into the barn. There wasn’t much light in there, so Ronan pulled out one of the orbs that had rolled to the wall by the door- different sources of light littered the whole of the Barns.

He tapped the orb and let it float into the air and set a dim yellow light over the warm barn. In the light, he could see that the chickens were sleeping. He’d only gotten them a month ago, and they’d hatched a few chicks last week. The chicks were sleeping safely as well.

Adam’s face lit up at the sight of them.

“Good,” he said. “They’re OK.”

He definitely sounded drunk now- a little giddy, senselessly warm and happy.

“Come on,” he said. “Sit with me, Ronan.”

Ronan, who couldn’t say no to Adam even when they were both sober, sat down next to Adam on a bale of hay next to the chicken coop. Adam leaned his head against Ronan’s shoulder. Water dripped from his hair down onto Ronan’s already-wet shirt.

“I think the dream alcohol’s working,” Adam said. “I feel all lightheaded. And warm, really warm. Is that normal?”

“Fuck if I know,” Ronan said. “I told you I never dreamt this shit before.”

“ _You_ don’t sound drunk,” Adam said.

“That’s ‘cause I only had one glass. And you only had one glass. You’re a fucking lightweight, Parrish.”

“Asshole,” Adam muttered, but he was still smiling. They sat there for a bit, leaning against each other and the soft but scratchy hay, the rain beating down on the roof overhead.

One of the chicks was stirring. Ronan looked up towards it, a little worried.

But Adam was leaning forward already, hands reaching into the coop, and Ronan wanted to warn him not to make any sudden moves- but he was careful. Possibly too careful. His elegantly structured hands were stroking the chick softly.

“Shhh,” he murmured. “Go back to sleep.”

Ronan suppressed a laugh. Of _course_ Adam turned into a fucking gentle baby deer when he got drunk.

“It’s gonna be OK,” Adam continued. “Sleep- I can hear you laughing at me, Ronan- go to sleep. Shh.”

Warmth spread through Ronan’s chest, and he was pretty sure it wasn’t the alcohol doing it.

The chick was falling back asleep. Adam kept stroking its head until it was fully nestled back in its nest. He let out a sigh and leaned back against Ronan.

“Oh,” Adam said, surprised. “I forgot you’re still covered in fucking rain.”

“So are you,” Ronan said. He was feeling very content now, in the dim light of the barn.

“I guess,” Adam said, and then hiccupped. Now he really looked like a baby deer. Ronan snorted in laughter.

“Fuck you!” Adam said. “You’re the goddamn worst. Ugh.”

He laughed himself and swatted, uncoordinated, at Ronan’s face. Ronan gave him an unimpressed look.

Their eyes found each other’s. In the haze of being a tiny bit tipsy, Ronan thought he was staring into the entire sky for a second. God. Adam’s eyes were so blue…

They were kissing, slowly and without trying much. Adam’s hands reached around his neck and softly traced down his spine.

In Ronan’s ear, he whispered, “Let’s fuck.”

“What?” Ronan sputtered, jumping back.

“I mean it,” Adam said. “In here, in the fucking barn. We should have sex in here, it would be fun.”

“You are a fucking dumbass,” Ronan said. “First of all, last time we had sex in a barn, I got hay up my ass and it was terrible. Second of fucking all, you’re drunk, you can’t consent to sex.”

“You’re drunk, too,” Adam said. He was wearing one of those lazy smiles that he almost never wore.

“Fucking barely.”

“Whatever,” Adam said, letting out an exasperated sigh. “I’m consenting. I mean it,” and then he hiccupped again, and Ronan threw a hand over his face and laughed.

“Don’t fucking laugh at me!”

“I’m not having sex with you, Parrish, you can forget it,” Ronan said. “Do you even see yourself right now? You’re a goddamn lightweight.”

“It’s your… your fucking alcohol, that you dreamt,” Adam said.

He buried his face in Ronan’s neck, and kissed it messily. Ronan’s breath hitched. Of course- fucking of course he would still be good at this while drunk.

“Come on,” he said quietly. “I’m taking you back to the house.”

He moved to pick Adam up, and Adam said, “I can walk just fine, asshole.”

Then he got up and promptly proved himself wrong. Ronan rolled his eyes and put an arm around Adam.

“You better not tell anyone,” Adam said, as they walked through the thinning rain back to the house, “that I tripped over my own feet.”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Parrish? I’m going to tell everyone about that. It was embarrassing as shit.”

“I hate you,” Adam muttered.

They headed back up the stairs into Ronan’s room. Ronan stripped off his wet clothes and threw them on the floor.

“So we _are_ gonna fuck?” Adam asked, voice a little garbled, staring openly at Ronan now.

“No,” Ronan said, climbing into his bed. “I just don’t want to wear these wet-ass clothes.”

“OK,” Adam said, head tilting to the side a little. Then he stripped out of his clothes as well. Part of Ronan regretted rejecting Adam’s suggestion at the sight of that, but he knew he wasn’t going to take advantage of Adam, no matter what.

And Adam clearly wasn’t in his right mind right now, since his right mind was usually capable of enunciating beautiful, eloquent sentences instead of whatever the fuck he was talking in right now.

Adam crawled into bed next to Ronan, curled up next to him, and Ronan felt a warmth settle into his stomach.

“You’re beautiful,” he said, stroking a hand through Adam’s hair.

“So’re you,” Adam mumbled, his mouth against Ronan’s chest.

It wasn’t late, but it was so comfortable in the bed, and they were both drowsy, and the lights were off and the rain was streaming down outside. Adam kissed lazily up the side of Ronan’s neck.

“I like you so much,” he said. “Just so you know. I’m really happy with you. I just wanted to say that.”

“Sentimental fucker,” Ronan said, for the second time, but a lot softer this time.

They fell asleep a little while after, close and quiet.

 

Adam had never had a hangover before, but he knew that it didn’t feel like this. It was supposed to be a raging headache, and possibly a need to slap anyone who made too much noise.

This definitely felt different from that.

This just felt like he’d been in a dream-bubble, one where he said really stupid things and tripped over his own feet, and he had been suddenly extracted from the dream bubble and placed back into the real world to stew in his embarrassed memories.

Jesus Christ.

Ronan was still sleeping next to him. The rain had stopped sometime in the middle of the night, and so sunlight was pouring through the window and shining on his skin.

Adam watched him for a while. He couldn’t look away.

If anyone had to see Adam say stupid shit and look like an idiot, he was glad it was Ronan. Who would most definitely tease him mercilessly for it, to be sure. Adam didn’t really mind that, though.

He hadn’t lied. He was happy with Ronan. Really happy. Happier than he’d ever been, and he knew it wasn’t just because of Ronan, that it was mostly because of his own decisions and his own freedom- still.

He was happy here. He felt safe here. With Ronan, specifically.

Adam kissed Ronan’s forehead.

Ronan stirred.

He grinned when he saw Adam leaning over him.

“Morning,” he said.

“Morning, asshole,” Adam said.

“That’s not what you said last night.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Of course I didn’t say ‘good morning’ last night.”

“It was supposed to be an insult. Like, you weren’t mean to me last night.”

“I’m not being mean to you now.”

“You called me,” Ronan said, looking surprisingly irritated for someone who just woke up five seconds ago, “an asshole.”

“Telling the truth isn’t being mean, Ronan.”

Ronan’s eyes narrowed.

“Anyway,” Adam said, “I was nice to you yesterday ‘cause I was drunk.”

“Oh,” Ronan said. “So when you’re sober, you’re a dick?”

“No, I just don’t tell the truth as much,” Adam said. He leaned in and kissed Ronan. Ronan pulled him in closer.

“Then everything you said yesterday,” Ronan said, close against him, “was the truth?”

“Yeah, Lynch.”

Ronan’s eyes got a wicked glint. “Even the part about wanting to fuck me in a barn?”

“Ugh,” Adam groaned. He’d forgotten that.

Ronan cackled, and then pulled Adam in to kiss him again.

“You really are the fucking worst,” Adam said, between kisses.

He was becoming warm and soft again. He wondered if the alcohol was still in him, or if this was just the effect Ronan had on him. Judging from how he’d felt the past few months, he thought it was probably the latter.

“You know,” he said, once he’d moved to settle on top of Ronan, both of them still not wearing anything, “you were right, yesterday. Sex in a barn is too messy.”

“I know, and you don’t listen,” Ronan said, kissing Adam’s jaw.

“Let’s just do it here, then,” Adam said, and leaned back in to kiss him for as long as he wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on Tumblr at arielmagicesi and Twitter at @ArielKalati. Let me know what you think!


End file.
